Should you take your child to a Funeral ?

Funerals are a hard thing to deal with at any age, But when is the right age to take a child to one? my nan passed away at the end of August and Bodhi ( Who is 5 1/2 years old ) was very close with her.

We visit her most weeks in her care home and to him she was another nanny rather then a grand-nan.
Towards the end of my nan's live she grew more Frail and sleepy i stopped taking Bodhi to visit a few weeks before she passed as i didn't want him to remember her like this. So when i told Bodhi that Granny had died he was sad but he understood that it meant she was no longer in any pain.

In 2016 we lost of a lot of family members so death was something we had already spoken about with Bodhi and we explained it that they had gone to live in the clouds ( as both myself and husband Chris doesn't really believe in God or the after life in terms of heaven and hell )

When i asked Bodhi if he wanted to come and say good bye to Granny he did have a few questions.

" will we see Granny ? "
" Do I have to cry ? "
" will i miss school "
" Can i stand up and say some nice things about Granny "

my answers

" No, ( this idea had come about thanks to American cartoons such as simpsons who have open casket funerals ) Granny will be inside of a casket so we won't see her "

" If you feel like you want to cry then thats fine, It's also fine if you don't cry "

" Yes you will miss the afternoon of school " ( to this he did a little happy dance and i *might* have gotten cross )

" why don't you tell me what you'd like to say and we can write it down and someone else can read your words out? " The thought of 5 year old Bodhi standing up in a funeral talking about his Granny was too much ! I'd have broken.


So when the date of the funeral came around we sent Bodhi off to school as normal and reminded the school office that i'd be picking him up after lunch. Once i picked him up we got him half changed ( School trousers and shoes are perfect funeral wear ) I had ordered him a plain black school jumper for £3 from asda online He looked smart but was comfy.

ON the drive over we spoke about what would happen at the crematorium and told him that it would be like a school assembly, with time for listening and some signing and you had to sit still and not talk. Bodhi asked if we would have to sit on the floor like in school !

The funeral was very short and only lasted around 20 minutes and Bodhi sat really well and held my hand, I was so proud of him and how grown up he was behaving. He didn't cry but he did tell me later that he was sad when listening to all of the stories about Granny.

Afterwards we headed to a local pub and had a little buffet dinner , Now this was when things started to go down hill as i was busy talking to family so didn't take too much notice of what Bodhi was eating , Turns out x3 cookies a cream tea scone , slice of carrot cake and a strawberry tart will send your 5 year old on a sugar rush.

We looked at photos of Granny together and he spoke to family about things he remembers about her and over all i feel that we did the right thing in taking Bodhi to say his goodbyes, Over all though ? Its 100% down to the child.

tips

1) Make sure your child has eaten before the ceremony
2) make sure your child has been to the toilet before the ceremony !!
3) talk to your child , explaining what till happen on the day. I forgot to say about the curtain and Bodhi why they were shutting
4) make sure you have the support of your other half or family on talking your child, IF your husband thinks its a bad idea to take them and they end up having a melt down, they will not help and pull that horrid " I told you so face "
5) do what you think is right for your family and children if you don't think they are ready to be in that kind of environment then don't take them.

I hope this might help others and if you have just lost a loved one then i am sorry.

colour mixing with twinkl

I often hear parents/teachers and other bloggers talking about Twinkl and i have to admit i had no clue what it was they were going on about ! so i do what anyone does now and i googled them. I was so pleased i did as i have uncovered a HUGE source of primary resources this will be such a game changer for over the summer holidays it has everything from projects/maths/English/the arts pretty much anything you can think of they will have a resource on it.

for my 1st twinkl project i wanted to start small as to not overwhelm 4 year old Bodhi so we went off the theme of the weeks homework from nursery ( yes my son gets homework once a week from school ) This week it was all about colour mixing. All i did was log on to my free twinkl account ( you can also pay for a higher level of account and i will be looking to do this after holiday ) I typed in colouring mixing and lots of ideas with work sheets popped up.

The 1st ones i printed was the colour mixing record sheets and also the colour mixing display posters. Bodhi really enjoyed working out what colours he would need to put together to make a different colour he told me it was a little bit like arty maths!

                     

Once he understood the rules of colour mixing and how it all worked we next printed off the paper towel colour mixing , Awe & wonder science activity. Bodhi is a huge lover of science so i knew this would keep him interested in the project. The sheet was simple to follow and very clear. We worked together and soon had it all set up and watched the colours meet on the towel and change colours.

 

We then also added some white carnation flowers into cups of yellow / blue & red dyed water and after a few days the white flowers had turned into the colours from the water . I would love to try this again with white roses with the steams cut and placed into two colours to see if we could get them to mix like the paper towels did.

We had a lovely time doing our ' homework ' and Bodhi was so happy telling his teachers all about what he had learnt, I have lots more ideas booked in for over the 6 weeks holidays now thanks to twinkl. Happy learning everyone.

Let your baby snack (Kiddylicious)

PARENTS URGED TO GIVE MORE TIME TO FINGER FOOD SNACKS

When i was contacted by Kiddylicious about sharing the idea of giving children more snacks and letting your baby play with food i was all for sharing the info. When Bodhi was around six months old we started to baby led ween him and i tried to give him as long s he wanted when eating, no one likes to be rushed while they are eating.

The nation’s parents are advised to give babies more time to play with finger food snacks, as research reveals many do not understand the developmental benefits


* Almost half (49%) of British parents with babies’ view snacking as a negative eating habit
* Over one third (36%) of British parents who admit to snacking throughout the day, do not allow their baby to eat finger foods in between meals


According to new research by infant food company, Kiddylicious, almost half of parents (49%) with babies and toddlers view snacking as a negative food habit, despite it being vital in the early stages of sensory and physiological development of babies. Adding to the confusion, over one third (36%) of the nation’s parents who admit to enjoying snacks in between meals themselves, do not allow for their baby or toddler to do so.

With this in mind, baby food producer Kiddylicious has joined forces with child expert Dr. Jacqueline Harding, to examine what is actually going on #insidebabysbrain at this important stage of baby development. And, in a bid to shift the negative stigma attached to finger food play in babies, have produced a downloadable educational guide and a feature film to show parents how snacks play a significant role in achieving some of the sensory and physiological developmental milestones around 6-8 months of age. As showcased in the educational guide, this can include:

* Improved head and neck control – this can help babies to safely swallow foods
* Improved tongue control – this can help babies learn how to chew, swallow and move foods from side to side in their mouth
* Jaw movement – enabling babies to suck, bite and munch on foods, even without teeth
* Taste-bud development – allowing them to recognise which flavours they like and dislike (essential for exploration and food acceptance)
* Hand-eye co-ordination – helping them to learn how to self-feed
* Practice using all the mouth, lip and jaw muscles – helps oral development and speech


Many people do not realise that the nutrition your baby receives during the first 1,000 days of life (from conception to two years of age) can have a significant impact on their health and wellbeing throughout their life. Introducing finger food snacks can play an essential role in this developmental milestone for babies.

 Kiddylicious website:  www.kiddylicious.com where you can find out loads more information via the snack stepping stones and find out the huge range of snacks that Kiddylicious stock the smoothie melts are by far Bodhi's favs

#ToddlerApprovedTuesday ( simple sand play )

Sometimes the best play ideas are they most simple ! now the weather is starting to play ball and we have some lovely sunny afternoons. All i did was to dump some of Bodhi's play sand ( you can get bags of this play sand from pretty much every shop going even pound land sells small bags ! ) onto his tuff spot tray, I added a few rocks from the garden and also some rose petals, I places his big trucks on top of the sand to start his imagination going.

Once Bodhi was home from morning nurseery the weather had really picked up so was a perfect time to go and play with the sand, i sat with Bodhi ( who is 4 1/2 ) and we played all sorts of pretend games, we played builders / dinoursars with rock eggs / castles and monsters / digging for treasures

                                       

                       

Linking up with  #ToddlerApprovedTuesday some times its just best to keep things simple , less is more as they say! Body has really enjoyed this no set up sand play afternoon in this tuff spot tray.

Grow your own with your kids

I have always dreamed of picking my fresh produce from my garden for cooking and the idea of a few chickens for eggs, when in reality it isn't going to happen, last year I grew tomatoes that didn't ripen and my raspberry plant produced seven ( yes seven ) berries so I am putting the veg patch space to better use this year and just sticking to my little herb garden.

The other reason I wanted to grow our own is for feed our pet tortoise Tuc he eats salad leaves and green, I also wanted to get Bodhi a little more green fingered so I popped to the shops and picked up some cress seeds and Cotten wool.

You can't get any simpler then growing cress !! I had saved and old plastic egg box and this was perfect, bodhi pretty much did it all him self, from ripping up the Cotten wool to sprinkling the cress seeds onto the Cotten wool and lastly giving it a good drink !

After only a few days we had fresh cress growing and I had one very happy four year old and a very happy tortoise , you can pick cress seeds up from garden centres/pound shops and most supermarkets I got our from wilkos 

living arrows

Living Arrows is about celebrating childhood. The project originally took it’s name from a poem by Kahlil Gibran, “You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth” and every Monday we share a moment from our week and invite others to do the same as part of this linky.  what the redhead said blog

I often find myself wondering what is really going on inside my four year olds head. most of the time i know it won't be more then what he will be eating for his dinner or what he did within the last few moments, i feel envy of his simple life and full of worry for his future. for now tho , he is just a four year old who loves to play on the swings. 

From Mother to Child (living arrows)

This week for my living arrows post i am looking back onto my own childhood and how much of myself i see in my son, His moods (highs and lows) his love of small lumps of plastic and his need for his things and routine to stay the same.

while doing my normal Monday morning job of stripping the beds and putting on clean sheets. i took the frog sheets out of the box, now these frog sheets are MINE i have had them as long as i can remember and I'm nearly 30. i can almost feel myself being my mum putting these funny little frog sheets onto my sons bed.

i love frogs ( still do ) and a lot of my things had frogs on or frog themed one of my childhood favourite toys was my soft toy called Freddie who had his own little bike and you could push down on the bike and it would wiz across the floor. Freddie also now lives in Bodhi's room and yes he is very well loved and looking a little worse for wear, but he still enjoys playing with him like i did all those years ago, and just like when i played with Freddie his eyes often need drawing back on. I have clear memories of asking my dad to " draw Freddie's eyes please daddy "

i kept these items at the time more for myself then for a child i might one day have, as for a very long time i didn't want children. i am so glad i kept them tho and i know Bodhi likes having things passed down from mummy for him now to use.

Did you keep anything from your childhood that your child now has?